Still no call from the Vet. If I don't hear by tomorrow, they're getting a call Thursday.

Had an awesome day today. Collin and I got up at a reasonable hour, and went up to Garden State Plaza. Collin got his list of people completely done. I'm about half done. It was a good trip overall, except for my freakout towards the end when I went to pay my car payment by phone and it's a freaking automated system and I wanted to actually talk to a human being. -sigh- Oh well. It's paid. I'm close to broke. Oh well. I have one more paycheck coming to me, so that will be good. And a show the 22nd (speaking of... I gotta decide on an act aside from Jingle Bell Rock with Scarlet...).

While we were shopping today, Collin stopped, looked at me all crazyhappy, and said "LET'S GO TO THE CITY TOMORROW!" So apparently, we're going into the city. Possibly to the MoMA to see the Tim Burton exhibit. Either way, we're going to walk around and see what's happening. I'm super excited! And we came home and made an awesome dinner of meat loaf, mashed potatoes, and peas. Yum!

On a not so fun note, none of Collin's friends are answering his phone calls/texts and he wants to go hang out with them tonight, so we're going to spend the night in, rent Half Blood Prince, and watch the Hangover (Picked it up today. Incidentally... apparently you can only get the "unrated" version on Blu Ray. Lamelamelame. Oh well)..

Other than car payments and money stress, it's all good. I feel worlds better than I did being miserable at Macy's. I'd rather be jobless and happy than having a horrible job. So yeah. OH-- and I have an interview on Thursday with the dentist for a job! Yay!

What is this ice bs?

On Friday night, I quit Macy's officially. No word on vet's office. But I'm interviewing for new jobs like a madman this coming week... so I'm bound to get -something-. Yesterday was nice, except when one little thing set me off on a huge stress rage.

Tonight, I'm performing in Staten Island at a holiday party with my good friend Laura (aka Scarlet Stepford). I wasn't planning on doing this show in the first place. Because originally I was working an 8 hour day, and Laura is also having her holiday party tonight. So I was even telling her to possibly pass it up, because, oh hey.. party tonight? But she was all about it. So that's cool, I'd just meet up with her later. But then she came to me saying that she was the only one able to do it, and if no one could find someone else, then show is cancelled. So I told her I'd do it. The money will be decent and stuff. It's a formal thing, too. So that will be nice. But then here come the negatives:

-We have no emcee! We're introducing ourselves!
-It's in Staten Island! Laura is going to be in NYC all day, so she'll be good... then I have to haul my ass by myself to this gig to meet up with her.
-I haaate Christmas music. So finding two tolerable Christmas songs for me, was hard as all hell. So Santa Baby and It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas it is.

I was just kinda "eh" about the show. Then yesterday while shopping for stuff for said show, the littlest thing set me off and I got so stressed and crazy.

Collin and I then went back to my house to hang out and have dinner. Watched some Animal House. Went to Ellory's, came back and slept.

Collin called me on his way to work, it took him 45 minutes to get there because of the fucking ice. FUCKING ICE. So now I'm worrying about that... hoping it either turns to rain or just fuckin stops... cuz I have too much shit to do today. :\

Ugh... stress.

Oh, and haven't started ANYTHING Christmas-related.

Ugh... and thinking about certain exes and friends and shit I just got put into a rage. Sorry, Leah for raging on you!

So yesterday, was kind of a fail. But kind of awesome.

Woke up to see my driveway/street COVERED in ice. At least two inches of slippery, dangerous, shit. And it was still raining/sleeting/snowing. So I called work to tell them I really don't have a way to get there. Which was a truefact. The guy who answered the call was a complete and utter dick. Conversation went as such:

Me: Hi, this is Sandy in accessories.
Guy: Hi Sandy.
Me: I don't think I'll be able to make it in today. The weather is still terrible by me, and my car isn't the greatest in this weather.
Guy: When is your shift?
Me: Open-3:15.
Guy: You can't get here AT ALL?
Me: My car isn't good in this weather, and I have no other way of getting in aside from me driving.
Guy: Why don't you actually TRY to come in, instead of just calling out of your 9 hour shift?
Me: It's just that I don't want to get into an accident-
Guy: Try getting here.
Me: ...Okay.

I got upset (shocking, I know) and I didn't know what to do. Collin's car is just as bad in the ice/snow bs. And he was still sleeping. It was his only day off this week, as well so I didn't want to wake him up. But he heard me crying and woke up to try to cheer me up. I decided I would just go in late whenever the crap stopped. I sat on the bed, and my phone started ringing. A number I didn't know, so I made Collin answer it. It was the Basking Ridge Animal Hospital calling me to make an appointment for an interview! Nice! So I was still stressed about the issues at hand, but slightly happier cuz I now had an interview for a job I actually wanted. I sat back on the bed. It was 9:00. I kept trying to get the willpower to get up and get dressed. But Collin in his sleepiness, rolled over and threw an arm around me. I snuggled on him, and kept saying "Okay. I'll leave at 10." then passed out. Until noon. Collin shook me awake, and he told me what time it was. My response: "Oops."

We ran some errands, then hung out at PJ's for a bit. When I got a call from Nick. Him and a few friends were going out to a bar in New Brunswick for karaoke. I was so in. Collin said he'd pick me up. So Nick picked me up at my house, and we went to a bar where I had.

-2 LITs ($3 LIT night! Nice!)
-Kamakaze shot
-Vodka/Redbull.

I got completely hammered. Sang "White Rabbit"... surprisingly well for being ridiculous. Then walked around the block with Nick bullshitting until Collin picked me up. I passed out the second I hit the bed.

Woke up at 9am. Slightly hungover. Showered. Went to my interview. I feel really good about it. They gave me a tour of the facility. I'd be working both the front desk and in the back. I gotta get used to seeing the animals getting operated on. Because when I saw it, it was a little startling to, you know, see a dog's insides. o.O; I'll hear back in a couple of days. They were talking to me like I got it. So that's rad.

I came home, and ate breakfast with Collin before he went to work, and now I'm dealing with my hangover, eating foods like crazy. Hopefully my friend Danni will come over later. That would be nice. I'm exhausted. Gonna watch Nightmare Before Christmas on the Disney Channel and take naps.

AnimeUSA was a blend of fun and not fun. Bulleted for your reading pleasure.

-Got to Val's around 10:30, had to run some errands and were officially on the road around 11.

-Hit all kinds of horrible traffic from Matt's to DC. So we didn't get to the hotel til about 6:30.

-Got SMASHED Thursday night... and serenaded the room with Date My Avatar. <3

-Silk Spectre'd it out all day at the con Friday... ran into Dean Venture himself and invited him to the show!

-Ran into my con friends I haven't seen since Otakon '08.

-Got a new Felicia toy and a new zombie shirt, and got Collin a "Zombies Want Me" shirt. I missed him. D:

-The show went phenominal (from the audience POV), there was a shit ton of backstage drama though...

-Mike Sinterniklaas (Dean Venture) showed up to the show! He sat on the floor in front of the stage and took some pictures. He's emailing them to me! :D

-Slept in Saturday, and wore my Date My Avatar costume Val made me.

-Tweeted a picture of said costume to Felicia Day, and she tweeted me back saying she liked it! Very exciting!

-Felt like a total celeb! An elevator of people screamed "OH MY GOD IT'S LILY STITCHES!" when I got on. It was awesome.

-Got dinner with Katie, Joe, and Ellory at the "Host Club"... hottest waiter ever. Whose job is to hit on the ladies. He made me flustered. Video to come.

-Got completely smashed in Val's room.

-Went to the Rave drunk and daaaanced the fuck out.

-Sobered up, and got into the worst mood ever... went back to my room, packed, and then hung out in the hallway with new friends.

-Woke up Sunday feeling like something was pressing down on my chest...

-Left DC around noon with Ellory.

-Got home at 4. Threw up. And the fever started.

-Collin got to my house around 4:30, and I passed out til 6.

-Collin left to get errands done, and I slept til 8:30

-Collin got back around 10, and I saw Felicia Day tweeted me again. :D


It was a pretty sweet weekend overall. Aside from dramz here and there... and now we're back to the real world.

Yesterday was very low key. I did a whole lot of sitting around the house during the day, so that night, I was kinda wanting to go out. We decided on going to see "A Christmas Carol" since it was playing in my town, but then to our dismay after stopping at the ATMs, Collin hadn't gotten paid so he had $4 to his name, and my check must not have gone through so I wasn't much better. So I got really frustrated. We went to the diner, since Andrew's mom would get us dinner (we're bums, I know) and figured out a new plan. We'd rent a movie, go back to my house and just hang out and watch it.

Now before I go on, I have to mention Collin's friend Cross. I met him in October. I can't remember if I have mentioned him here or not, he used to live in Newark in a foster home. And he's one of Collin's friends from RVCC. They met there last semester, and Collin's other friends (PJ, Andrew, etc) met him I think in July? So all of a sudden, Cross went from coming around once in awhile, to coming.... and staying through the week. Collin was his chauffeur, taking him to and from school, and taking him back and forth to Newark. This was before he got the new car, and he had the Candy Van which really wasn't safe for long drives. Long story short, a few weeks after I had met him, I realized this kid's a manipulative dick. We all did. But Collin would defend him and say he had nobody else and stuff. So we all kept our mouths shut... until Cross called Collin 2 hours after he had been dropped off in Newark to get picked up again. I was PISSED. It was almost midnight, and Collin and I were about to go home to go to bed. So off he went to pick up his friend, and came to bed about 2 hours later. We found out Cross was "kicked out" of his foster home, and he could never get the story straight as to why. Then he was asking Andrew's mom to let him live with her, since Andrew is going to the Marines soon. Not okay. She wants none of that. I don't blame her. None of us do. He sleeps all day. He does little to nothing to help around the house, and he eats all of her food. Where does this sound familiar?

Here's a fun anecdote. On Thursday night, Collin and I went to Andrews for dinner and to watch "Funny Games", and during dinner, Cross had 3 bites of food and sat there with his head in his hands trying to throw a pity party, and only really mumbling if anyone talked to him. Then when we started the movie, he sat pretty much in front of the TV on the floor so Andrew and his mom had to ask him to move 3 or 4 times, and put his headphones on and watched Youtube videos and chatted on Facebook. And whenever something would interest him (ex: Naomi Watts in her underwear during the "Cat in the Bag" scene) he would take off the headphones and ask what was going on. Very annoying.

So that brings us to this weekend. Cross has been staying at Andrew's, and his mom didn't mind as long as Cross had found a place to stay by this coming Monday, which supposedly he did. But Andrew will be away this weekend. So Andrew's mom asked Collin to either stay at the house, or take Cross to his house. Collin said he'd take Cross, since now it's like a babysitting job. But he was thinking this was going down Saturday night. So last night, we went to dinner and Andrew's mom was telling us that Cross was being more rude and obnoxious to her and Andrew than ever and she wants him out Monday. And she's told him that. So Collin and I leave and continue our night, rented a movie, and went back to my house. We decided to play Wii for a little while before the movie, and Collin's phone died. Around 11:30, we were getting into bed to watch the movie, and saw that Andrew's mom had called something like 5 times. So Collin called her back... apparently Cross was sitting in front of the house with his girlfriend waiting to get in, after not getting in touch with anyone on whether or not he was coming back all day. Why can't his girlfriend take him? Wouldn't he be her responsibility? Andrew wasn't home. So she wanted none of that. So Collin was now summoned to pick him up, and to take him back to his house. And, fucking yes I was upset. I wasn't mad at Collin, I was mad at this manipulative asshole who, for the last week, has been treating everyone like shit. Collin felt horrible because, yeah, our night was pretty shot, and now he'll be babysitting Cross all weekend and he knows it. So our rented movie is sitting here on the floor. He says we'll watch it tonight, but I'm sure that won't happen because Cross is going to be around. He's like a roach. He doesn't leave.

And now I'm off to Accessory Hell.

Watching Knocked Up. Waiting for Collin to get out of work so I can go to his house again tonight.

About a month ago Ellory told me G4 was bringing back "Woman of the Web" and opening it up to anyone to enter. So we whipped up an interview, he did some fancy editing, and somehow I made it into the top voting... and it's making me crazy. I should be posting here about my first day of work, which wasn't terrible but not great. Boring. Tedious. Collin's dad is away for the week. I think until Thursday or Friday. So we have the house to ourselves, but my body clearly hates me. So no loud obnoxious sexytime until (of course) dad comes back. Fab! But yeah, I got into the "finals" I guess for this contest. And it's literally neck and neck. Me against this girl Katrina "Action Chick". She has a website and a Twitter with some crazy thousand+ followers. And she was on G4 for Dallas Comic Con. Like she covered it or something. And she's plain looking. Not exactly ugly (one girl looks like a 12 year old boy, one girl looks (and acts 14) and other girls were just kinda... fake) but not pretty. She's just plain. And she's super nice. Why the shit is she so nice? Ellory made a post about me on a G4 board, and she took it over but then did a PS on how cute I am and stuff. It was like that girl thing, where you're super nice, but underneath you hate their guts. Because seriously, we are each other's competition. So I did some stalking, started following her and now she's tweeting me and she's super nice saying we should both win because that would be awesome and now she's telling her thousands of followers to vote for the girl they want to win, even if it's not her. And now they're back to the "vote for me!" and it's just getting overly stupid... and then this bitch posted a comment on my submission that I make her want to vomit because of my stomach fat... I know I'm not fat. I know I know I know. I'm not trying to pityparty. I'm not trying to guily anyone. I'm just being stupid about all of this stupid crap.


I'm opening tomorrow at Macy's. I was moved to Accessories... which is fantastic... But all I can think of is "holy crap 8 hours where I can't vote on my video and I won't know how I'm doing until I get home... fuck." I think the last day is Friday. Or Monday. Either way. I want it to be over.

All I know is when I lose, it's going to suck hard.

So I am going to preface this with...

I'm not nuts. Hah.

Let's rewind back a bit. When Jon and I were together, sometimes I would see.... things... in his room. Shapes. And I'd get a not-so-good/creepy feeling. One night, I even saw something standing close to me, when I woke up in the middle of the night. It was horrifying. Absolutely not a good feeling.

I mean, I've seen the ghost in my dad's house. I've seen it a few times. But it's not a bad feeling. That one's just hangin around, screwing with stuff. Bugging the dog. Etc. Etc. But it was never a bad/scary feeling. The one in Jon's room that night was threatening.

The breakup happened, and I hadn't seen anything in awhile. Then when Collin and I got together, I spent the night at his house. The very first night I was there, I woke up in the middle of the night and there was the thing, the bad not so good scary thing that I saw at Jon's hovering above the bed. Wtf? So I freaked the fuck out and yelled "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME." Then it was gone. Poof.

Fast forward to Monday morning. 6am. I woke up, and the room was dark (no surprise), and in the corner of the room, was the bad scary thing. Standing there. Watching me. Hair over its face. Just standing. I kinda scurried backwards on the bed slowly, and that's when it came at me. It actually came at me. And I screamed, and Collin woke up. And, again, gone. Now I was afraid. Wtf is that about?

Going onto Monday night (or early Tuesday morning rather), and Collin stayed over again. I was really sick Monday, so I was pretty quick to pass out that night. And around 4am, I felt two quick punched to my upper back. I sat straight up, nothing was there. Collin was clear on the other side of the bed, facing the opposite direction, so it couldn't have been him, and the bedroom door was closed and locked, so it wasn't the cats jumping on the bed. So... yeah. This had to go.

Tuesday night Collin thought it would be a fabulous idea (in the wake of my wtf-ness) that Andrew, PJ, Andrew's mom, Cyrus, himself, and I were all going to see Paranormal Activity. And in theory, fabulous idea. But at the end of the movie, I just kept thinking of the thing fucking with me. And this was it.

We did some research, and Andrew's mom apparently just has holy water on her (who has holy water on hand? Andrew's mom does... that's insane, I know) and we did the whole holy water... thing to the room.

Nothing has happened since. So hopefully that the punches to the back are going to be the last of the weird/not so good/scary thing in my room.

/End ghost craziness.

Last night, was the first time I had a continued great time at Trash... like I had a good time when Leah came, but Jon made it ridiculously stressful, and I had a good time with Deb, but I felt rushed and stressed and, well, mad cuz Jon refused to come that night.

Last night Ellory came (normal), Laura came, Collin came, and a friend of mine from highschool came. We got there around 1:30, and for the first time in forever I actually danced and had a good time and didn't feel like I was putting someone through hell. I mean, the music isn't our cup of tea, but we were definitely having fun. I got a drink, and backstage I went to change.

I performed with Lil Miss Lixx. She is ridiculously gorgeous and did a really beautiful act. We decided she was going first since my act is more modern and creepy and messy.

I did my act around 2:40, then the pay waiting game began... but this time it was different. We weren't all pissed off/miserable. DJ Jess bought me a shot that tasted like delicious alcoholic lemonade and then I had my last drink of the night when they were 2/1 with Laura. But she had to buy it since my 21+ bracelet went MIA on me. I made friends with an art photographer who was completely out of his mind. I danced with Collin a whole lot, I was actually in the bathroom and they started playing "Bad Things" from True Blood and I ran out like a bolt of lightning so I could dance to it. I was ridiculously fargone. And we were all having a great time.

We got home around 5:45am, and crashed out. Collin's phone went off around 9:30, and it was his mom. Today him and I were going to go up to his mom's house to visit and get his college stuff ironed out with her. And I was half asleep, but awake enough to hear the entire conversation (both ends). He was talking about her about what time he'll be there and stuff, then he said

"Oh hey mom, I wanted to bring my girlfriend down to meet you. Is it okay if she tags along?" And then Mom went off,
"You mean you can't spend a few hours without her because you're attached to her? No, I don't want her coming along. I haven't seen you in god knows how long. Is it so terrible to just want to spend time with me? Is she driving you?"
"No."
"Then no. I don't want her coming."

Yeah... I don't want to ever meet this woman. She lives an hour from Collin, and she wonders why he never frequents going over to her house? He's told me before that she wasn't the nicest person in the world. But damn...

So my plans for the day are shot.. I guess I'll putz around with my fixed computer and go over my Ronson lines as well as get ready for the show tonight.

My dad needs to stfu.

Yesterday I was getting work done on my car, so Collin was awesome enough to go out of his way and drive me to work and pick me up. My dad took the chance for the entire day to make fun of him to my face. He's my dad I'm not asking him to like Collin, but I'd at least like him to not be obnoxious. His reasons for "dislike" are the fact he wears "girl's pants" (? ) and that he's younger. Oh no shit he's younger than me. Whatever. So all day he was asking me when he was getting out of school... highschool. So that was cute. And mature. And he was on the whole making fun of that all day. So yeah, fun.

I went around the Bridgewater Mall applying to stuff in the evening. I got applications from Victoria's Secret, Build a Bear, and I'm applying to Macy's... I really don't want to go to the mall. But idk what else to do right now. And jobs in retail are opening up for the holidays... Collin was looking in the mall as well, I was just there for the ride and I picked up the applications here and there. *shrug*

I hung out with my friend Laura last night, we went to Menlo Park and she got stuff for her burlesque act next month. I got boots for Harley. I felt somewhat accomplished.

I met up with Collin at Andrew's house. He was finishing up his job applications and everyone was watching Supernatural. I was completely wiped out and uninterested in what was on TV so I napped on the couch until Collin was ready to go. After the episode we were watching was over, he was ready so I was going to drive the two of us to my house, and we were going to stay there. When we were getting ready to leave, Collin's friend PJ said "Okay I'll get my things." Collin forgot he was bringing PJ home. I wouldn't have had a problem bringing him home (we all live within 10-15 minutes of each other) except I was super low on gas, and I have to watch my traveling (this week I've worked in Glen Gardner Tuesday/Wednesday and possibly Friday... a 35 minute commute, then I went to Laura's in New Brunswick last night, then the sprinkled in visits to Warren and Stirling, then driving to Hawthorne tonight, and probably Philipsburg on Saturday... so yeah gotta watch my money/gas usage). Collin was low on gas himself, so we both decided it would be better if he just went home, since he lived closer to PJs than I do. And I was really sad and disappointed. But whatever. I was kind of unnecessarily mad at PJ. Cuz he doesn't have a car atm and Collin has been chauffeuring him and Andrew around whenever they needed a ride, which is nice of him but I just feel bad. So I woke up this morning and found out I didn't have work due to obnoxious freezing cold/rain, and went back to sleep. Collin texted me saying hello, and I called him to say good morning, and found out PJ's dog died this morning... so I felt bad for being mad at him last night. I feel really bad. Meh.

I have my shrink appointment at 1. She got a cancellation, which is good. I filled out an online application for Macy's and found out how much I hate online applications. And the greatest questions ever were on it... in the "mandatory" section of the questionnaire, there was this one:

*9. Will you provide friendly customer service all day, every day?

Really? Who would answer no?

And then apparently you can either be Hispanic or Latino, or Not Hispanic or Latino under ethnicity.

I'm glad there are no blurry ethnic lines.

Oh well... appointment, dropping off job apps, lunch somewhere in there, and rehearsal tonight. October turned out to be busier than I thought it would be!

Oh my GOD. I just want to say... it was the best birthday I have ever had. Mostly from a bunch of coincidences.

Thursday I went to Newhope with my mom, we got lunch, then I got my nose pierced. It was a random crazy decision, and hurt like a bitchcunt, but it's cute and my mom is hilarious about it. I then met up with Ellory on the train in Summit so we could go to the advance screening of Zombieland in Union Square. We got there obscenely early, and went to Forbidden Planet where I got a TokiDoki Zippo with a cute lion on it. <3 While in line, I checked my Twitter (shut up, it's addictive) and saw that Rishard was coming to Zombieland as well! We were let in, and we grabbed seats, and about 20 minutes later Rishard and Shawn showed up. So that was pretty awesome. The movie was beyond funny, and I wanna see it again, because I was laughing so hard I was missing stuff. After the movie we all went to Pomme Frite and then sat around in some random park and ate, then headed over to the screening of Paranormal Activity. The line was around, then down the damn block. Ellory and I headed out around 11, getting me finally back to my car about 1:15. Thank god we left, because apparently a small handful of people from that line were let into the screening. I hope it gets a wide release, cuz it definitely looked interesting.

Friday I got up late, which was nice. Super nice. Then mom, special guest Collin, and I all went booze/juice/party shopping. We found an awesome fire pit/chiminea thing on sale too. My friend Josh IMed me, telling me he had an extra ticket for Dave Attell at the Stress Factory, and asked if I wanted it, and I could just have it. So I totally jumped on that chance, and after the Wal Mart-ing, and bumming around with Nick for a little bit, I was off to New Brunswick to see Dave Attell... which was freaking awesome. We met him after the show and I gave him my business card. Very very cool.

Saturday was the day of "Blood Feast V.2". I woke up, and we all had to tackle the setting up of the tent since apparently some light rain was to happen that evening. Nick came over, and we were off to Wal Mart yet again to get him some stuff for his costume. He decided to be Steve Zissou. What that has to do with a Zombie Party is apparently irrelevant to Nick but whatever. We got back to my house around 6, Leah was here, I fed that damn cat I feed probably once a month down the street since the people are constantly going away, then we made alcoholic delicious punch. People started getting here around 8-8:30, and it was starting to drizzle. And it was COLD outside. But it was fine cuz we had the tent and stuff. My mom came home around 9:15, and there was already a good collection of people. My zombies came! We had everything from a Hunter from L4D to Suave Zombies, to Hooker Zombies, to Medical workers (I was a nurse and Collin came as a male nurse. We didn't plan this at all). Around 12:30-1am the rain and the freezing ness was way too much, and about 10-15 of us went inside to watch Dawn of the Dead and be drunk in there. And that is when this happened:





It was fantastic. Anyways, I probably passed out around 4:30 (shut up, Leah)... then onto Sunday:

Had a sweet hangover, and watched Anchorman and Forgetting Sarah Marshall with Collin and Laura M. My mom borrowed my car making me obscenely late for rehearsal with Val and Leah, then came the show at Verve. In my opinion: Huge success! It was a fantastic crowd. Everyone did very awesome! I had a great time! :D I got dinner afterwards with Nick, and then met up with PJ, Spaghetti, Andrew and Collin for about 20 minutes, but then went home to bed. I was exhausted. The week(end) finally hit me.

Today... I want to go to the mall to use my Bare Minerals gift card, then possibly bum around a bit before dinner at my dad's house for my birthday. Fun times!!

Oh and Val is pretty much the coolest ever for this reason:

My good friend sashysavvy posted this. I'll probably forget by tomorrow. But let's see if I can actually do it.

day 01 | a song : Go-Getter Greg by Ludo . Lyrics...

day 02 | a picture

day 03 | a book/ebook/fanfic

day 04 | a site


day 05 | a youtube clip

day 06 | a quote

day 07 | whatever tickles your fancy

This weekend. Is not over. But this will work, I promise.


I worked Friday, no funs. But I got invited to a couple of parties. A party for Eliz's going away, and a pool party by a childhood friend who is more like an acquaintance now. I decided after work, I'd fuckin spoil myself and get a damn pedicure, then went to wake up Collin's bum ass. I kidnapped him and we went to White Castle, where I was informed he is in fact 19, and not 20. I was not amused. We went back to his house, and he said he'd accompany me to said party for Eliz's going away. So he got changed, then we were off to my house so I could change, as well. We then picked up Regina, and were off to the partyhouse. Long partyfun story short, I got fucking out of my head smashed, danced to Lonely Island, fell on my ass on a tile floor, played with sparklers, and had my token drunk ass freakout on the ride home (thank you Collin for putting up with me being drunkmess in the car and carrying my ass into the house, and to the car and pretty much everywhere).

Got up on Saturday nice and late, brought Collin style home, then made sure I had everything for the Rockabilly Festival, and waited for Val to arrive. She got to the house around 1, and we were off to find lunch. Red Robin was our choice of deliciousness, and after that went to Coney. I had never been there aside from the Mermaid Parade, so I actually was really excited to be able to walk around and ride rides and... people watch. Oh my god the people watching. Best. Fucking Part. But Val and I rode the Wonder Wheel (oh my god ferris wheels are NOT supposed to do that!), Spook A Rama (delightfully cheesy), and then the fucking Cyclone (where we thought we were going to die). We then rode the Bench ride, and actually met up with Regina soon after. We all walked to Cha Cha's, then I walked to my car with Ellory, and Lauren. My friend Jaime called me up, and told me he was lost... he came all the way to Coney from Atlantic City to surprise me! And surprise me he did! It was very cool of him to come all the way fucking out. So we then went to Cha Cha's, and holy shit was it hot in there. Like, "Oh my god my face is going to melt the fuck off" hot. I saw all my awesome burlesque friends, It's A Little Stormy, Bella Fighetta, JZ, and N. And made some new friends, as well. My act went over amazingly well (people seriously lose their shit for the True Blood!) and I had to jet out shortly after that, since I parked in a lot and apparently it closed at midnight. I did not need to be stuck in Coney until 11am Sunday. So we all ran back to my car. The attendants were gone, but it was still open. Okay. Whatever. So we got into the car, and we drove Jaime to his bike. He told us to wait a few minutes, because on the way, right before he arrived at the show, his bike stalled out and he wanted to make sure it would start. It was about 12:15am. We were all exhausted, but sure, we'll hang out til we make sure you're on the road. It didn't start. Nothing would work. Getting on 1am. He calls his insurance company's 24 hour emergency hotline, and it doesn't pick up. He tries every number he can for his insurance company and nothing, we even tried AAA and they don't tow motorcycles unless we had RV insurance. Wtf? He says fuck it, and came home with us. He left his bike in Coney fucking Island, and came home with us. I felt really terrible, but at the same time (call me a bitch) agitated. We dropped Ellory off, and Val had to drive back to my house because I was just way too freaking exhausted. Jaime and I stayed up for an hour before I went to bed talking about Zombies, and random shit, but then I went to bed and passed out.

Got up Sunday and told Jaime to call the insurance company. It took him about an hour to get off his ass and do so, but when he did, same problem. He called the offices, and they even encountered the problem with the emergency hotline, so it was kind of like "well you're fucked" attitude. So I had stuff to do, and plans with people. Jaime couldn't get in touch with any of his friends, so I went to PJ's and he stayed here on my couch. Awk. But whatever. I got back around 6, and we went to dinner around 7:30 where our lazy eyed, Carlton Banks lookalike waiter got his soul crushed by me because I informed him that Billy Mays was in fact, dead. We then went back to my house for lots of Adult Swim watching. It was indeed entertaining. Especially since my favorite episode of Super Jail (with the ladies "Ultra Prison) was on.

I went to bed around 1am, and Jaime has been long picked up by a friend of his. I hope everything sorts out for him. He's a good guy. And it really sucks about his bike. Today I'm off to the Tuxedo Renn Faire with Ellory and apparently a shit ton of other people. I wish I had a camera. Fuck. Then I might see Serena tonight. That would be nice. :)

I'm tired. But it's been a fantastic weekend so far. So let's end it on a fantastic note.

So last night I went out with my Warren/Stirling friends. I had a drink, then as I was pouring my second, I found out we had to leave asap to drive someone home. So I drank quickly. I was buzzed on the way home. It was all good. I get to my one friend's house (where my car was) and I (kind of) passed out while he took his dog outside to pee. This is where I got ridiculous.

Me: (singing) I WISH YOU WOULD STEP BACK OFF THAT LEDGE MY FRIEND.
Collin: Are you... singing?
Me: I WOULD UNDERSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!
Collin: Yep. You're singing.


I have fun new friends.

This weekend was pretty good. I was exhausted and cranky for a good portion of it (sorry if I was mean or not nice or cranky with anyone..)

Floating World was on Friday. It was a great show, I loved seeing everyone (and quoting Ventures in the bathroom with miss Willow <3). I hit the horrible rainstorm of doom on the way home so it took me about an hour to get back.

I woke up Saturday early(ish), and couldn't go back to sleep. I was pretty bummed out cuz I wanted to go back to FW and check stuff out, but I ended up having to go to Hunnie rehearsal in Midtown. Rehearsal ran long, and I was sore from both FW and that, then fell asleep on the bus home from Summit and almost missed my stop.

I went home for a bit then played Janet at Rocky through my exhaustion and annoyance. Oh, and you know you're completely wiped out exhausted when 5 hour energy shots don't work. I woke up early again for no reason whatsoever, but was able to take a nap. I went to Target and Borders, then I visited my dad at a party he was catering down the street from me. I then went home and relaxed awhile until I got the call from my friend Collin that he was back from Virginia. We were supposed to go to the movies, but cuz he got back so late we just hung out instead. Watched some Adult Swim, then called it a night.

The Rockabilly Festival is this coming Saturday, followed by Hunnie performing @ Le Poisson Rouge. A rehearsal should be at some point this week. So there's that, too.

Somehow... I'm okay. Idk how it's possible, but I'm...good.

Floating World was fun. Whenever I'm there, I feel way out of my element. And this year it was just magnified. I wanted to go back today to bum around, but I have rehearsal with Hunnie @ 3:00. Blegh. Gotta take the bus to Summit @ quarter to 1. Maybe I'll go tomorrow before my friend Collin gets back from VA. Cuz we're supposed to hang out and either see Inglourious Basterds or D-9. I'm good with either. Or both. Hmmm.

If I have five minutes to sit, I wanna watch a movie. I'm just in a mood to watch a movie. I'm so exhausted. This week is all catching up to me. I'm so exhausted. So fucking exhausted. I barely have the drive/energy to move right now to get out of goddamn bed.


Maybe I'll nap on the train. Idk.

So yeah.

The past few days have been... something else.

Jon and I had a massive fight, didn't talk from 11:30pm Tuesday into 4:00pm Wednesday. We broke things off that night.

It's funny, because neither of us are angry. Neither of us "hate" each other. We're not happy about it, but we're also not sad.. I still love him with all of my heart. And he says he still loves me. But it's the fighting. The bickering. The bitterness we started to have. I think he's worse off than me, too. Which is upsetting and makes me worry.

I went to Angie's good bye party @ The Exchange in Rockaway last night. It was karaoke night. I think everyone was expecting me to be bitter and angry. The only song that reflected how I felt that night was when I sang Pink's "So What" (yeah shut up, it helped me feel so much better) but then I sang "There are Worse Things I Could Do" from Grease and "Come on Over" by Christina Aguilera. People kept assuming I felt angry about it though, and it's surprising I don't. I think I'm the most surprised by it.

I'm not exactly happy but I'm not exactly sad any more. On a stupid petty note, one of the hardest things yesterday was changing my phone background from him, to a picture of Bill biting Sookie from True Blood. Shut up, I'm allowed to have it.

Today I'm going back to work. I need to. Then I have to come back home to pack for Floating World (I have NO IDEA where half of the stuff is. Oh god). I just want to sit and relax before that. I don't want to have to be there. Tomorrow I have to go into NYC for rehearsal (I think) and there's Rocky. I'm looking forward to it. Not so much NYC for rehearsal.

I need to get going... but I felt the need to say what's going on. Thank you everyone who has been awesome and supportive. It really means a lot to me.


Oh and I wanted to share this:




Great Job!

Around 9:00 last night, I was sulking in bed, obsessively checking facebook/twitter/livejournal for any signs of, well, anything. Most of my friends weren't online, and I was hoping he'd come online, though there really wasn't much to say.

My friend Collin came online, and IMed me via facebook asking if I was all right, I told him what went down, and he said that he had a shitty day as well and is now at a small get together at one of his friends' houses. I told him that was nice, and kept watching tv. He then asked me if I wanted to come over, because it's no good being sad b myself, apparently. It took some talking me into, but I eventually got out of my pajamas and into some normal clothes and was out the door around 9:20.

I got there around 9:45 (I had to stop for gas... the people's house actually is about 10 minutes away from my house). I went to the wrong house (whoops... pretty embarrassing) but then on the 2nd try, I got it. I had myself a drink, and we hung out and watched that show where people are put in the post-apocalyptic situation and they have to live and figure shit out and blahblahblah. Around 11:30, my phone rang, and it was Jon. I went into the kitchen where it was a bit quieter (people were outside smoking cigarettes and it was also raining or else I would have just gone out there) but our phone call was extremely brief. He called to see how I was doing. I told him I wasn't that great, and he told me that he loved me, and that "even if we broke up" he'd still love me, which, you know, doesn't help anything... at all. He asked if my mom talked to me. I said that she made me listen to the voicemail he left. I told him never to bring my mom in on our fights again because it's none of her business. He apologized, and I asked him where he was. Apparently he went out to the bar(s). Alone. He just "needed a drink". Yeah, that's healthy. He then asked where I was (I'm pretty sure he was expecting me to say I was home in bed or something), and I told him I have friends that wouldn't let me sulk at home. He told met that was good, he was happy that I didn't stay home by myself. If he didn't want me by myself he'd have come over to work it out. He then told me he was looking for another bar, and I told him that he should probably go home, even though it takes a ton to get him really drunk, I just didn't want him driving around like that. He told me he was going home... and he'd call me tomorrow probably (probably?). He didn't tell me he loved me when he hung up... so I was sad again. I sat back down on the couch, and Collin saw my face, handed me my drink, toasted me and told me "bottoms up". I texted Jon, telling him I loved him, and I never got a response back.

His friend's mom came home around midnight, and she was incredibly awesome. We all talked about Repo and Adult Swim and my burlesque and stuff. I'm actually glad I went out last night... even though right now I am completely exhausted and I'd kill to go back to sleep. Part of me is afraid to hear from Jon today. Idk what is going to happen at this point. And even though I know it isn't, I can't even help the fact that I feel like it is my fault. :\

I don't want to go to work today, I just have an awful feeling about it. Why didn't it just rain today?

Yesterday was painfully uneventful. I sat on the couch in this house, called people, IMed people, texted people pretty much begging for company. My mom stopped by twice, bringing me some McDonald's on her way home. It was Cesar's birthday and he was apparently having a huge party. The dog was chill pretty much the entire day, sleeping it pretty much away either in the sun on a mat by the kitchen, or sleeping on her blanket on the floor. For about an hour and a half she slept on the couch nuzzled between me and the couch arm. I went to Stop N Shop around 8, because boredom was absolutely killing me, and also (the obvious) I was starving. I talked to Ellory early in the day and he said that if Jon wasn't coming over, he'd come over and hang out. But he got stuck babysitting his little brother, so he didn't get here til about 10:45-11:00. We watched the UFC fight on Shotime, and the puppy started getting all riled up from sleeping all day. But then she started getting out of hand. I don't think these people really discipline her at all, because she doesn't stop when you tell her "no" or "stop" or even sternly say her name. She's a constant nipper, with razor teeth. Yes, yes, I know, she's a puppy. I've had puppies before. I've had dogs my entire life. We were always consistent with the no biting, and the potty training. She's not bad with that, she only had one accident yesterday (right after I took her out to go we both came in, and while I was making breakfast she peed on the floor...wtf?). But anyways, me and Ellory went bread hunting (they have a bread stash more or less) and talked of Nanny Cams (these people have to have one. Call me paranoid but seriously... they have a ridiculously nice house and they asked a more or less complete stranger to watch it. So come on). The dog wants to sit on the couch with me right now but she sat on her pee when we were outside, so that's just not happening. We put the dog in the cage because she was out of control, and Ellory left around 1:30. I tried to get her to go outside one more time, but she sat up, then flopped back to sleep instead. So it was bedtime. Jon called me around 7:30 to say good morning on his way to work, and the minute Zima heard my voice she was awake, so I brought her outside where she sat in her pee. She's now banging around with her rawhide bone. I washed some dishes, and I am completely exhausted. I need a shower, too. Yesterday I just didn't feel like it, as gross as that is. Jon wasn't coming over, I had no one to impress. So why should I? I just know I need one before these people come home.

I was really sad Jon couldn't come over last night. He brought his friend Heather over on Friday to see District 9 (which was awesome btw), so he had to leave eventually. And last night, he told me he was too tired and he had to go to bed to get up early for work (he usually gets up around 6 if he has work at 8). But he went to the pool hall til about 12:30. So now Jon has to know he was totally in trouble or something because now (apparently) he's coming over to my house to watch True Blood. He haaaates True Blood (with no real reason, hm. Surprise). I should be out of here by 8:30 the very latest, so that's a plus. I am ridiculously excited for this week's episode. And I want to keep it out of mind that the season should more or less be wrapping up very soon... and then will have to wait til next summer for season 3.

I'm hungry. This post is all over the damn place. *shrug* Gonna make some food now.

My weekend:

( My weekend's schedule. It's deliciously hectic. )

That, was the shoot schedule for Henrique's new film, "Bleeding Through". It was an incredibly stressful weekend, but we got done all that was needed to be done. Now after a few pick up scenes, we'll officially be wrapped. I can honestly say I can't wait.