Watching Knocked Up. Waiting for Collin to get out of work so I can go to his house again tonight.

About a month ago Ellory told me G4 was bringing back "Woman of the Web" and opening it up to anyone to enter. So we whipped up an interview, he did some fancy editing, and somehow I made it into the top voting... and it's making me crazy. I should be posting here about my first day of work, which wasn't terrible but not great. Boring. Tedious. Collin's dad is away for the week. I think until Thursday or Friday. So we have the house to ourselves, but my body clearly hates me. So no loud obnoxious sexytime until (of course) dad comes back. Fab! But yeah, I got into the "finals" I guess for this contest. And it's literally neck and neck. Me against this girl Katrina "Action Chick". She has a website and a Twitter with some crazy thousand+ followers. And she was on G4 for Dallas Comic Con. Like she covered it or something. And she's plain looking. Not exactly ugly (one girl looks like a 12 year old boy, one girl looks (and acts 14) and other girls were just kinda... fake) but not pretty. She's just plain. And she's super nice. Why the shit is she so nice? Ellory made a post about me on a G4 board, and she took it over but then did a PS on how cute I am and stuff. It was like that girl thing, where you're super nice, but underneath you hate their guts. Because seriously, we are each other's competition. So I did some stalking, started following her and now she's tweeting me and she's super nice saying we should both win because that would be awesome and now she's telling her thousands of followers to vote for the girl they want to win, even if it's not her. And now they're back to the "vote for me!" and it's just getting overly stupid... and then this bitch posted a comment on my submission that I make her want to vomit because of my stomach fat... I know I'm not fat. I know I know I know. I'm not trying to pityparty. I'm not trying to guily anyone. I'm just being stupid about all of this stupid crap.


I'm opening tomorrow at Macy's. I was moved to Accessories... which is fantastic... But all I can think of is "holy crap 8 hours where I can't vote on my video and I won't know how I'm doing until I get home... fuck." I think the last day is Friday. Or Monday. Either way. I want it to be over.

All I know is when I lose, it's going to suck hard.

So I am going to preface this with...

I'm not nuts. Hah.

Let's rewind back a bit. When Jon and I were together, sometimes I would see.... things... in his room. Shapes. And I'd get a not-so-good/creepy feeling. One night, I even saw something standing close to me, when I woke up in the middle of the night. It was horrifying. Absolutely not a good feeling.

I mean, I've seen the ghost in my dad's house. I've seen it a few times. But it's not a bad feeling. That one's just hangin around, screwing with stuff. Bugging the dog. Etc. Etc. But it was never a bad/scary feeling. The one in Jon's room that night was threatening.

The breakup happened, and I hadn't seen anything in awhile. Then when Collin and I got together, I spent the night at his house. The very first night I was there, I woke up in the middle of the night and there was the thing, the bad not so good scary thing that I saw at Jon's hovering above the bed. Wtf? So I freaked the fuck out and yelled "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME." Then it was gone. Poof.

Fast forward to Monday morning. 6am. I woke up, and the room was dark (no surprise), and in the corner of the room, was the bad scary thing. Standing there. Watching me. Hair over its face. Just standing. I kinda scurried backwards on the bed slowly, and that's when it came at me. It actually came at me. And I screamed, and Collin woke up. And, again, gone. Now I was afraid. Wtf is that about?

Going onto Monday night (or early Tuesday morning rather), and Collin stayed over again. I was really sick Monday, so I was pretty quick to pass out that night. And around 4am, I felt two quick punched to my upper back. I sat straight up, nothing was there. Collin was clear on the other side of the bed, facing the opposite direction, so it couldn't have been him, and the bedroom door was closed and locked, so it wasn't the cats jumping on the bed. So... yeah. This had to go.

Tuesday night Collin thought it would be a fabulous idea (in the wake of my wtf-ness) that Andrew, PJ, Andrew's mom, Cyrus, himself, and I were all going to see Paranormal Activity. And in theory, fabulous idea. But at the end of the movie, I just kept thinking of the thing fucking with me. And this was it.

We did some research, and Andrew's mom apparently just has holy water on her (who has holy water on hand? Andrew's mom does... that's insane, I know) and we did the whole holy water... thing to the room.

Nothing has happened since. So hopefully that the punches to the back are going to be the last of the weird/not so good/scary thing in my room.

/End ghost craziness.

Last night, was the first time I had a continued great time at Trash... like I had a good time when Leah came, but Jon made it ridiculously stressful, and I had a good time with Deb, but I felt rushed and stressed and, well, mad cuz Jon refused to come that night.

Last night Ellory came (normal), Laura came, Collin came, and a friend of mine from highschool came. We got there around 1:30, and for the first time in forever I actually danced and had a good time and didn't feel like I was putting someone through hell. I mean, the music isn't our cup of tea, but we were definitely having fun. I got a drink, and backstage I went to change.

I performed with Lil Miss Lixx. She is ridiculously gorgeous and did a really beautiful act. We decided she was going first since my act is more modern and creepy and messy.

I did my act around 2:40, then the pay waiting game began... but this time it was different. We weren't all pissed off/miserable. DJ Jess bought me a shot that tasted like delicious alcoholic lemonade and then I had my last drink of the night when they were 2/1 with Laura. But she had to buy it since my 21+ bracelet went MIA on me. I made friends with an art photographer who was completely out of his mind. I danced with Collin a whole lot, I was actually in the bathroom and they started playing "Bad Things" from True Blood and I ran out like a bolt of lightning so I could dance to it. I was ridiculously fargone. And we were all having a great time.

We got home around 5:45am, and crashed out. Collin's phone went off around 9:30, and it was his mom. Today him and I were going to go up to his mom's house to visit and get his college stuff ironed out with her. And I was half asleep, but awake enough to hear the entire conversation (both ends). He was talking about her about what time he'll be there and stuff, then he said

"Oh hey mom, I wanted to bring my girlfriend down to meet you. Is it okay if she tags along?" And then Mom went off,
"You mean you can't spend a few hours without her because you're attached to her? No, I don't want her coming along. I haven't seen you in god knows how long. Is it so terrible to just want to spend time with me? Is she driving you?"
"No."
"Then no. I don't want her coming."

Yeah... I don't want to ever meet this woman. She lives an hour from Collin, and she wonders why he never frequents going over to her house? He's told me before that she wasn't the nicest person in the world. But damn...

So my plans for the day are shot.. I guess I'll putz around with my fixed computer and go over my Ronson lines as well as get ready for the show tonight.

My dad needs to stfu.

Yesterday I was getting work done on my car, so Collin was awesome enough to go out of his way and drive me to work and pick me up. My dad took the chance for the entire day to make fun of him to my face. He's my dad I'm not asking him to like Collin, but I'd at least like him to not be obnoxious. His reasons for "dislike" are the fact he wears "girl's pants" (? ) and that he's younger. Oh no shit he's younger than me. Whatever. So all day he was asking me when he was getting out of school... highschool. So that was cute. And mature. And he was on the whole making fun of that all day. So yeah, fun.

I went around the Bridgewater Mall applying to stuff in the evening. I got applications from Victoria's Secret, Build a Bear, and I'm applying to Macy's... I really don't want to go to the mall. But idk what else to do right now. And jobs in retail are opening up for the holidays... Collin was looking in the mall as well, I was just there for the ride and I picked up the applications here and there. *shrug*

I hung out with my friend Laura last night, we went to Menlo Park and she got stuff for her burlesque act next month. I got boots for Harley. I felt somewhat accomplished.

I met up with Collin at Andrew's house. He was finishing up his job applications and everyone was watching Supernatural. I was completely wiped out and uninterested in what was on TV so I napped on the couch until Collin was ready to go. After the episode we were watching was over, he was ready so I was going to drive the two of us to my house, and we were going to stay there. When we were getting ready to leave, Collin's friend PJ said "Okay I'll get my things." Collin forgot he was bringing PJ home. I wouldn't have had a problem bringing him home (we all live within 10-15 minutes of each other) except I was super low on gas, and I have to watch my traveling (this week I've worked in Glen Gardner Tuesday/Wednesday and possibly Friday... a 35 minute commute, then I went to Laura's in New Brunswick last night, then the sprinkled in visits to Warren and Stirling, then driving to Hawthorne tonight, and probably Philipsburg on Saturday... so yeah gotta watch my money/gas usage). Collin was low on gas himself, so we both decided it would be better if he just went home, since he lived closer to PJs than I do. And I was really sad and disappointed. But whatever. I was kind of unnecessarily mad at PJ. Cuz he doesn't have a car atm and Collin has been chauffeuring him and Andrew around whenever they needed a ride, which is nice of him but I just feel bad. So I woke up this morning and found out I didn't have work due to obnoxious freezing cold/rain, and went back to sleep. Collin texted me saying hello, and I called him to say good morning, and found out PJ's dog died this morning... so I felt bad for being mad at him last night. I feel really bad. Meh.

I have my shrink appointment at 1. She got a cancellation, which is good. I filled out an online application for Macy's and found out how much I hate online applications. And the greatest questions ever were on it... in the "mandatory" section of the questionnaire, there was this one:

*9. Will you provide friendly customer service all day, every day?

Really? Who would answer no?

And then apparently you can either be Hispanic or Latino, or Not Hispanic or Latino under ethnicity.

I'm glad there are no blurry ethnic lines.

Oh well... appointment, dropping off job apps, lunch somewhere in there, and rehearsal tonight. October turned out to be busier than I thought it would be!

Oh my GOD. I just want to say... it was the best birthday I have ever had. Mostly from a bunch of coincidences.

Thursday I went to Newhope with my mom, we got lunch, then I got my nose pierced. It was a random crazy decision, and hurt like a bitchcunt, but it's cute and my mom is hilarious about it. I then met up with Ellory on the train in Summit so we could go to the advance screening of Zombieland in Union Square. We got there obscenely early, and went to Forbidden Planet where I got a TokiDoki Zippo with a cute lion on it. <3 While in line, I checked my Twitter (shut up, it's addictive) and saw that Rishard was coming to Zombieland as well! We were let in, and we grabbed seats, and about 20 minutes later Rishard and Shawn showed up. So that was pretty awesome. The movie was beyond funny, and I wanna see it again, because I was laughing so hard I was missing stuff. After the movie we all went to Pomme Frite and then sat around in some random park and ate, then headed over to the screening of Paranormal Activity. The line was around, then down the damn block. Ellory and I headed out around 11, getting me finally back to my car about 1:15. Thank god we left, because apparently a small handful of people from that line were let into the screening. I hope it gets a wide release, cuz it definitely looked interesting.

Friday I got up late, which was nice. Super nice. Then mom, special guest Collin, and I all went booze/juice/party shopping. We found an awesome fire pit/chiminea thing on sale too. My friend Josh IMed me, telling me he had an extra ticket for Dave Attell at the Stress Factory, and asked if I wanted it, and I could just have it. So I totally jumped on that chance, and after the Wal Mart-ing, and bumming around with Nick for a little bit, I was off to New Brunswick to see Dave Attell... which was freaking awesome. We met him after the show and I gave him my business card. Very very cool.

Saturday was the day of "Blood Feast V.2". I woke up, and we all had to tackle the setting up of the tent since apparently some light rain was to happen that evening. Nick came over, and we were off to Wal Mart yet again to get him some stuff for his costume. He decided to be Steve Zissou. What that has to do with a Zombie Party is apparently irrelevant to Nick but whatever. We got back to my house around 6, Leah was here, I fed that damn cat I feed probably once a month down the street since the people are constantly going away, then we made alcoholic delicious punch. People started getting here around 8-8:30, and it was starting to drizzle. And it was COLD outside. But it was fine cuz we had the tent and stuff. My mom came home around 9:15, and there was already a good collection of people. My zombies came! We had everything from a Hunter from L4D to Suave Zombies, to Hooker Zombies, to Medical workers (I was a nurse and Collin came as a male nurse. We didn't plan this at all). Around 12:30-1am the rain and the freezing ness was way too much, and about 10-15 of us went inside to watch Dawn of the Dead and be drunk in there. And that is when this happened:





It was fantastic. Anyways, I probably passed out around 4:30 (shut up, Leah)... then onto Sunday:

Had a sweet hangover, and watched Anchorman and Forgetting Sarah Marshall with Collin and Laura M. My mom borrowed my car making me obscenely late for rehearsal with Val and Leah, then came the show at Verve. In my opinion: Huge success! It was a fantastic crowd. Everyone did very awesome! I had a great time! :D I got dinner afterwards with Nick, and then met up with PJ, Spaghetti, Andrew and Collin for about 20 minutes, but then went home to bed. I was exhausted. The week(end) finally hit me.

Today... I want to go to the mall to use my Bare Minerals gift card, then possibly bum around a bit before dinner at my dad's house for my birthday. Fun times!!

Oh and Val is pretty much the coolest ever for this reason:

My good friend sashysavvy posted this. I'll probably forget by tomorrow. But let's see if I can actually do it.

day 01 | a song : Go-Getter Greg by Ludo . Lyrics...

day 02 | a picture

day 03 | a book/ebook/fanfic

day 04 | a site


day 05 | a youtube clip

day 06 | a quote

day 07 | whatever tickles your fancy

This weekend. Is not over. But this will work, I promise.


I worked Friday, no funs. But I got invited to a couple of parties. A party for Eliz's going away, and a pool party by a childhood friend who is more like an acquaintance now. I decided after work, I'd fuckin spoil myself and get a damn pedicure, then went to wake up Collin's bum ass. I kidnapped him and we went to White Castle, where I was informed he is in fact 19, and not 20. I was not amused. We went back to his house, and he said he'd accompany me to said party for Eliz's going away. So he got changed, then we were off to my house so I could change, as well. We then picked up Regina, and were off to the partyhouse. Long partyfun story short, I got fucking out of my head smashed, danced to Lonely Island, fell on my ass on a tile floor, played with sparklers, and had my token drunk ass freakout on the ride home (thank you Collin for putting up with me being drunkmess in the car and carrying my ass into the house, and to the car and pretty much everywhere).

Got up on Saturday nice and late, brought Collin style home, then made sure I had everything for the Rockabilly Festival, and waited for Val to arrive. She got to the house around 1, and we were off to find lunch. Red Robin was our choice of deliciousness, and after that went to Coney. I had never been there aside from the Mermaid Parade, so I actually was really excited to be able to walk around and ride rides and... people watch. Oh my god the people watching. Best. Fucking Part. But Val and I rode the Wonder Wheel (oh my god ferris wheels are NOT supposed to do that!), Spook A Rama (delightfully cheesy), and then the fucking Cyclone (where we thought we were going to die). We then rode the Bench ride, and actually met up with Regina soon after. We all walked to Cha Cha's, then I walked to my car with Ellory, and Lauren. My friend Jaime called me up, and told me he was lost... he came all the way to Coney from Atlantic City to surprise me! And surprise me he did! It was very cool of him to come all the way fucking out. So we then went to Cha Cha's, and holy shit was it hot in there. Like, "Oh my god my face is going to melt the fuck off" hot. I saw all my awesome burlesque friends, It's A Little Stormy, Bella Fighetta, JZ, and N. And made some new friends, as well. My act went over amazingly well (people seriously lose their shit for the True Blood!) and I had to jet out shortly after that, since I parked in a lot and apparently it closed at midnight. I did not need to be stuck in Coney until 11am Sunday. So we all ran back to my car. The attendants were gone, but it was still open. Okay. Whatever. So we got into the car, and we drove Jaime to his bike. He told us to wait a few minutes, because on the way, right before he arrived at the show, his bike stalled out and he wanted to make sure it would start. It was about 12:15am. We were all exhausted, but sure, we'll hang out til we make sure you're on the road. It didn't start. Nothing would work. Getting on 1am. He calls his insurance company's 24 hour emergency hotline, and it doesn't pick up. He tries every number he can for his insurance company and nothing, we even tried AAA and they don't tow motorcycles unless we had RV insurance. Wtf? He says fuck it, and came home with us. He left his bike in Coney fucking Island, and came home with us. I felt really terrible, but at the same time (call me a bitch) agitated. We dropped Ellory off, and Val had to drive back to my house because I was just way too freaking exhausted. Jaime and I stayed up for an hour before I went to bed talking about Zombies, and random shit, but then I went to bed and passed out.

Got up Sunday and told Jaime to call the insurance company. It took him about an hour to get off his ass and do so, but when he did, same problem. He called the offices, and they even encountered the problem with the emergency hotline, so it was kind of like "well you're fucked" attitude. So I had stuff to do, and plans with people. Jaime couldn't get in touch with any of his friends, so I went to PJ's and he stayed here on my couch. Awk. But whatever. I got back around 6, and we went to dinner around 7:30 where our lazy eyed, Carlton Banks lookalike waiter got his soul crushed by me because I informed him that Billy Mays was in fact, dead. We then went back to my house for lots of Adult Swim watching. It was indeed entertaining. Especially since my favorite episode of Super Jail (with the ladies "Ultra Prison) was on.

I went to bed around 1am, and Jaime has been long picked up by a friend of his. I hope everything sorts out for him. He's a good guy. And it really sucks about his bike. Today I'm off to the Tuxedo Renn Faire with Ellory and apparently a shit ton of other people. I wish I had a camera. Fuck. Then I might see Serena tonight. That would be nice. :)

I'm tired. But it's been a fantastic weekend so far. So let's end it on a fantastic note.

So last night I went out with my Warren/Stirling friends. I had a drink, then as I was pouring my second, I found out we had to leave asap to drive someone home. So I drank quickly. I was buzzed on the way home. It was all good. I get to my one friend's house (where my car was) and I (kind of) passed out while he took his dog outside to pee. This is where I got ridiculous.

Me: (singing) I WISH YOU WOULD STEP BACK OFF THAT LEDGE MY FRIEND.
Collin: Are you... singing?
Me: I WOULD UNDERSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!
Collin: Yep. You're singing.


I have fun new friends.

This weekend was pretty good. I was exhausted and cranky for a good portion of it (sorry if I was mean or not nice or cranky with anyone..)

Floating World was on Friday. It was a great show, I loved seeing everyone (and quoting Ventures in the bathroom with miss Willow <3). I hit the horrible rainstorm of doom on the way home so it took me about an hour to get back.

I woke up Saturday early(ish), and couldn't go back to sleep. I was pretty bummed out cuz I wanted to go back to FW and check stuff out, but I ended up having to go to Hunnie rehearsal in Midtown. Rehearsal ran long, and I was sore from both FW and that, then fell asleep on the bus home from Summit and almost missed my stop.

I went home for a bit then played Janet at Rocky through my exhaustion and annoyance. Oh, and you know you're completely wiped out exhausted when 5 hour energy shots don't work. I woke up early again for no reason whatsoever, but was able to take a nap. I went to Target and Borders, then I visited my dad at a party he was catering down the street from me. I then went home and relaxed awhile until I got the call from my friend Collin that he was back from Virginia. We were supposed to go to the movies, but cuz he got back so late we just hung out instead. Watched some Adult Swim, then called it a night.

The Rockabilly Festival is this coming Saturday, followed by Hunnie performing @ Le Poisson Rouge. A rehearsal should be at some point this week. So there's that, too.

Somehow... I'm okay. Idk how it's possible, but I'm...good.

Floating World was fun. Whenever I'm there, I feel way out of my element. And this year it was just magnified. I wanted to go back today to bum around, but I have rehearsal with Hunnie @ 3:00. Blegh. Gotta take the bus to Summit @ quarter to 1. Maybe I'll go tomorrow before my friend Collin gets back from VA. Cuz we're supposed to hang out and either see Inglourious Basterds or D-9. I'm good with either. Or both. Hmmm.

If I have five minutes to sit, I wanna watch a movie. I'm just in a mood to watch a movie. I'm so exhausted. This week is all catching up to me. I'm so exhausted. So fucking exhausted. I barely have the drive/energy to move right now to get out of goddamn bed.


Maybe I'll nap on the train. Idk.

So yeah.

The past few days have been... something else.

Jon and I had a massive fight, didn't talk from 11:30pm Tuesday into 4:00pm Wednesday. We broke things off that night.

It's funny, because neither of us are angry. Neither of us "hate" each other. We're not happy about it, but we're also not sad.. I still love him with all of my heart. And he says he still loves me. But it's the fighting. The bickering. The bitterness we started to have. I think he's worse off than me, too. Which is upsetting and makes me worry.

I went to Angie's good bye party @ The Exchange in Rockaway last night. It was karaoke night. I think everyone was expecting me to be bitter and angry. The only song that reflected how I felt that night was when I sang Pink's "So What" (yeah shut up, it helped me feel so much better) but then I sang "There are Worse Things I Could Do" from Grease and "Come on Over" by Christina Aguilera. People kept assuming I felt angry about it though, and it's surprising I don't. I think I'm the most surprised by it.

I'm not exactly happy but I'm not exactly sad any more. On a stupid petty note, one of the hardest things yesterday was changing my phone background from him, to a picture of Bill biting Sookie from True Blood. Shut up, I'm allowed to have it.

Today I'm going back to work. I need to. Then I have to come back home to pack for Floating World (I have NO IDEA where half of the stuff is. Oh god). I just want to sit and relax before that. I don't want to have to be there. Tomorrow I have to go into NYC for rehearsal (I think) and there's Rocky. I'm looking forward to it. Not so much NYC for rehearsal.

I need to get going... but I felt the need to say what's going on. Thank you everyone who has been awesome and supportive. It really means a lot to me.


Oh and I wanted to share this:




Great Job!

Around 9:00 last night, I was sulking in bed, obsessively checking facebook/twitter/livejournal for any signs of, well, anything. Most of my friends weren't online, and I was hoping he'd come online, though there really wasn't much to say.

My friend Collin came online, and IMed me via facebook asking if I was all right, I told him what went down, and he said that he had a shitty day as well and is now at a small get together at one of his friends' houses. I told him that was nice, and kept watching tv. He then asked me if I wanted to come over, because it's no good being sad b myself, apparently. It took some talking me into, but I eventually got out of my pajamas and into some normal clothes and was out the door around 9:20.

I got there around 9:45 (I had to stop for gas... the people's house actually is about 10 minutes away from my house). I went to the wrong house (whoops... pretty embarrassing) but then on the 2nd try, I got it. I had myself a drink, and we hung out and watched that show where people are put in the post-apocalyptic situation and they have to live and figure shit out and blahblahblah. Around 11:30, my phone rang, and it was Jon. I went into the kitchen where it was a bit quieter (people were outside smoking cigarettes and it was also raining or else I would have just gone out there) but our phone call was extremely brief. He called to see how I was doing. I told him I wasn't that great, and he told me that he loved me, and that "even if we broke up" he'd still love me, which, you know, doesn't help anything... at all. He asked if my mom talked to me. I said that she made me listen to the voicemail he left. I told him never to bring my mom in on our fights again because it's none of her business. He apologized, and I asked him where he was. Apparently he went out to the bar(s). Alone. He just "needed a drink". Yeah, that's healthy. He then asked where I was (I'm pretty sure he was expecting me to say I was home in bed or something), and I told him I have friends that wouldn't let me sulk at home. He told met that was good, he was happy that I didn't stay home by myself. If he didn't want me by myself he'd have come over to work it out. He then told me he was looking for another bar, and I told him that he should probably go home, even though it takes a ton to get him really drunk, I just didn't want him driving around like that. He told me he was going home... and he'd call me tomorrow probably (probably?). He didn't tell me he loved me when he hung up... so I was sad again. I sat back down on the couch, and Collin saw my face, handed me my drink, toasted me and told me "bottoms up". I texted Jon, telling him I loved him, and I never got a response back.

His friend's mom came home around midnight, and she was incredibly awesome. We all talked about Repo and Adult Swim and my burlesque and stuff. I'm actually glad I went out last night... even though right now I am completely exhausted and I'd kill to go back to sleep. Part of me is afraid to hear from Jon today. Idk what is going to happen at this point. And even though I know it isn't, I can't even help the fact that I feel like it is my fault. :\

I don't want to go to work today, I just have an awful feeling about it. Why didn't it just rain today?

Yesterday was painfully uneventful. I sat on the couch in this house, called people, IMed people, texted people pretty much begging for company. My mom stopped by twice, bringing me some McDonald's on her way home. It was Cesar's birthday and he was apparently having a huge party. The dog was chill pretty much the entire day, sleeping it pretty much away either in the sun on a mat by the kitchen, or sleeping on her blanket on the floor. For about an hour and a half she slept on the couch nuzzled between me and the couch arm. I went to Stop N Shop around 8, because boredom was absolutely killing me, and also (the obvious) I was starving. I talked to Ellory early in the day and he said that if Jon wasn't coming over, he'd come over and hang out. But he got stuck babysitting his little brother, so he didn't get here til about 10:45-11:00. We watched the UFC fight on Shotime, and the puppy started getting all riled up from sleeping all day. But then she started getting out of hand. I don't think these people really discipline her at all, because she doesn't stop when you tell her "no" or "stop" or even sternly say her name. She's a constant nipper, with razor teeth. Yes, yes, I know, she's a puppy. I've had puppies before. I've had dogs my entire life. We were always consistent with the no biting, and the potty training. She's not bad with that, she only had one accident yesterday (right after I took her out to go we both came in, and while I was making breakfast she peed on the floor...wtf?). But anyways, me and Ellory went bread hunting (they have a bread stash more or less) and talked of Nanny Cams (these people have to have one. Call me paranoid but seriously... they have a ridiculously nice house and they asked a more or less complete stranger to watch it. So come on). The dog wants to sit on the couch with me right now but she sat on her pee when we were outside, so that's just not happening. We put the dog in the cage because she was out of control, and Ellory left around 1:30. I tried to get her to go outside one more time, but she sat up, then flopped back to sleep instead. So it was bedtime. Jon called me around 7:30 to say good morning on his way to work, and the minute Zima heard my voice she was awake, so I brought her outside where she sat in her pee. She's now banging around with her rawhide bone. I washed some dishes, and I am completely exhausted. I need a shower, too. Yesterday I just didn't feel like it, as gross as that is. Jon wasn't coming over, I had no one to impress. So why should I? I just know I need one before these people come home.

I was really sad Jon couldn't come over last night. He brought his friend Heather over on Friday to see District 9 (which was awesome btw), so he had to leave eventually. And last night, he told me he was too tired and he had to go to bed to get up early for work (he usually gets up around 6 if he has work at 8). But he went to the pool hall til about 12:30. So now Jon has to know he was totally in trouble or something because now (apparently) he's coming over to my house to watch True Blood. He haaaates True Blood (with no real reason, hm. Surprise). I should be out of here by 8:30 the very latest, so that's a plus. I am ridiculously excited for this week's episode. And I want to keep it out of mind that the season should more or less be wrapping up very soon... and then will have to wait til next summer for season 3.

I'm hungry. This post is all over the damn place. *shrug* Gonna make some food now.

My weekend:

( My weekend's schedule. It's deliciously hectic. )

That, was the shoot schedule for Henrique's new film, "Bleeding Through". It was an incredibly stressful weekend, but we got done all that was needed to be done. Now after a few pick up scenes, we'll officially be wrapped. I can honestly say I can't wait.

It took me damn near a half hour to peel myself out of bed today... only to flop down on the couch with the lure of the internets.

Henrique, Zane, Josh, and Justin should be here any minute. Ruby will be here around 9. I have to find my boots and stockings... and get out of my pajamas.

It's gonna be a long weekend. Holy on tight.


Ready?


Go.

I just want to state... how awesome yesterday was.


Drea called me up Wednesday morning telling me to cancel all of my Thursday night plans. Tim and Eric were going to be @ Santos Party House in NYC. And she said the magic words: FREE. So that was the plan. Get on a 3:17 train after work, get myself to Santos Party House, meet up with Drea... Great Job!

Drea called me @ 3 saying she had to take a later train, getting her in at 6:08 and not 5 something. So plans changed. I went to Grand Central (I had never been there... damn!) and met up with Drea and her friend Anne, then we were on our way!

When we got to the venue... there was a line wrapped around the block. So fuck. We hopped in, and soon we started moving. But about 20 minutes later... the line stopped. We were then told we were not guaranteed to get in from our point in line. So fuck. Drea was incredibly determined though, so we waited around. The line started moving again, so that was good! But then when we were painfully close to the front, we were told the club was at capacity and our chances of getting in were close to zero. Anne and I were kind of ready to pack it in, and grab a bite to eat. But Drea was still determined. We stood in line for about another 20 minutes... and then people were leaving. People were leaving because it was too damn crowded in there. Coated in sweat. But then- a miracle!- we were let in! And we saw Tim and Eric! And a preview of SEASON CINCO (including 2 new Steve Brules, the Bro-oach, and so much more ridiculousness), and we also heard that Dr. Steve Brule is getting his VERY OWN SHOW! Yayyyy!

For your health!

Around 9:30 I got a missed call/voicemail from Dave Menace. No way. It was Thursday. Could he have been calling because of a last minute cancellation?

Yes.

He told me his go go girl got sick or something, so I said I'd be there as soon as I could. So fuck yes! Money style! So then was the task of getting to Newark. I called Ellory. He said he'd run to my house, grab my suitcase and pick me up @ Newark Penn, and to call him when I knew what train I was getting on. The show soon ended, and we met Tim (I got a hat for Stephanie Teed signed <3) then we headed back towards our homebound destinations. I got to Penn, hopped on an 11:09 train to Newark, and got to Brick City by 11:40. I changed, stage kittened, and go-go'd my heart out. God damn was I hot, sweaty, and exhausted, and in paaaaiiin. I got a $20 tip at one point. Go me. :D Hah. Oh, and randomly ran into Manny. Wtf? And I saw Justina Sparx again. Oh my god is she awesome. I saw her fire hoop. I have never seen that in person. It was freaking amazing. She is freaking amazing. It was a good night to be a spectator @ Brick City. Dave then told me after the girls finished up, he'd need me to go go til 2:20am. It was 1:40. Fuckthat. My feet were screaming at me. I was exhausted. I was going home.

Ellory and I got some White Castle, then I finally hit my bed around 3am. All around awesome night. Today I meet up with Henrique for some chats on "Bleeding Through", then seeing "Funny People" with Ellory. Tomorrow Henrique and crew come over bright and early and we film, film, film. Then Trixie, then up bright and early Sunday to film down in LBI (depending on the weather... let's cross our fingers!) I hope I'm not doing much Monday cuz I have a feeling I'll be completely wiped out. :D

Here we go:

On Wednesday evening my friend Brooklyn Babydoll posted on Facebook that she was sick and wouldn't be able to perform at a show on Thursday night. So I called her up and she said I could definitely take her place @ the party "Bordello" at Haven. I was pretty psyched about it, until both Jon and Ellory said that neither of them could drive me. Ellory didn't want to go since he was coming with me to Chicago Saturday, then Insomnia on Sunday. Jon wasn't sure what time he was getting out of work (Wednesday night he didn't get out til nearly 7:30) and had to work on Friday early. Which left me in a bind. I already had rehearsal on 8th Ave for Hunnie, so I guess I could just walk to Haven.. I then hung out with Nick and my old friend Chris, and asked them if they'd want to take the train in with me to go. They were both in so that was a relief that I wouldn't be running all over NYC by myself.

Thursday brought work, and rain. Lots of rain. I met Nick and Chris at the train station, and we were off to the city. It was Nick's first time on the NJ Transit, so it was way too fun for him to be on the train. We got into NYC and I ran to rehearsal, which was awesome and flew by. There's a new Hunnie member and she's adorable and has never done burlesque before. She tried one of my corsets on, and we all helped her pick a stage name. D'awwwe! Rehearsal ended around 7, and I had to be at Haven by 8:30. Nick and Chris nearly got abducted by the Church of Scientology (no, seriously), so I had to run around Broadway trying to find them. And while trying to find them, I found...

REGINA AND DAN!!! They were in line for Phantom, and I hope they had fun at the show! :)

I soon found Nick and Chris, and it was about 7:30. Yeah. It took that long to find them, and we were on our way to Haven. We got to haven around 8, so I had time to grab a bite before the show.

The show... was something else. Haven is beautiful. Our stage? A block with a pole. Yep. A. Pole. I performed with Kiki Valentine, who was awesome, and a drag queen. And this is where the fun begins. Kiki and I both sat ready to make an entrance. My song started about halfway through, then stopped. Then started again, then lost volume. Then started over again. Sans introduction. So when I revealed my "L S" pasties, someone said "What the hell is LS?"

Fail.

The burlesque was also supposed to be at 9 and 10. The first "set" was at 9:45. I had to catch the train @ 11:21 or else we'd have to leave around 12:30am. Kiki was awesome and told the young man running the show (he wasn't listening to me) that we needed to go on ASAP or I wouldn't make my train. We get dressed. We're ready. And a gigantic boisterous diva tastic drag queen comes in.

"HOW MUCH TIME DO I HAVE TO GET READAY? I REFUSE TO GO ON BEFORE HAVING 3 DRANKS. I CAN'T GO ON WITHOUT MY DRAAAAANKS." The young man running it because flustered, and told her that we were all going on the second she got dressed. She then shouted, "THEN GET MY DRANKS MY LUUUUVE. THANK YEEEEEEW." The owner of Haven then stopped by the dressing room (He was a sweetheart) to say great job to us, and the drag queen's drinks were still not in her hand.

"SCUSE ME."
-"Yes?"
"WHO ARE YOU?"
-"I'm the owner."
"OH. CAN YOU GET ME 3 DRINKS? THANKS BABY."
-"I think your drinks are coming. I'll see you all downstairs, great job, girls!"

Awkward. The second set went wonderfully, and then it was time to get paid. I asked the young man distributing our envelopes when he collected tips, since he and my friend who usually does the show guaranteed me tips as well as pay, and he told me they never do tips I must have heard them wrong. I didn't have time to argue. It was 10:45. I was livid. And we were going to miss the train. We hit E. 51st Street running. My ankles hurt. My calves hurt. I had a side cramp. I was drenched in sweat. But we had to run. To Penn. So many blocks. We lucked out. We got down to the train, and all of the doors were shutting, about 8 of us had formed by this point screaming HOLD THE TRAIN PLEASE! And somehow we made it on. I got home around 1am and passed the fuck out.

Friday I worked (uneventful), then met up with 3 young ladies I met at Anime Next who are my biggest fans. No really. They make me feel like a superstar. Haha. They wanted to learn how to make pasties. And glove peel and all that fun burlesque-y stuff. So I gave them a lesson. And they enjoyed it. Oh, the future of Burlesque Stars! :D

Jon and I had original plans to just go out for ice cream, then just chill out in the back yard, maybe go for a swim and relax. We were both exhausted from work and not sleeping, plus Saturday brought Chicago for me. But then at 9:45, Jon got a call from his friend Leif. They were at a patio bar in Bridgewater, pretty close to my house and wanted to see if we wanted to come out. No cover. Jon really wanted to go, but I was "one of the guys" last Friday, and I barely got to see Jon this week because of work and all the things that came up, I was really looking forward to just having my boyfriend to myself... but we went. And it actually wasn't bad. Leif bought me 2 drinks (one because he "dared" me to do karaoke. You don't have to dare me to get up there!) and one so it wouldn't be creepy if he bought a random lady a drink. I sang "Just A Girl" and had to keep telling these guys to fuck off because they were harassing me while I was singing, oh, and the crown jewel of the night:

A 9 year old girl... singing I Kissed A Girl by Katy Perry. It was so... awkward. Wtf, parents? They were sitting at the bar having a couple of drinks, and they really must not care what their daughter is singing.

But yeah, last few days in a nutshell. Today is Chicago in NYC (orchestra seats!) then playing Janet at Rocky... tomorrow is Insomnia @ Le Poisson Rouge with Hunnie and I (hopefully) have nothing going Monday... I'm so tired.

A year ago today, I was just getting back into the house after a day and night of wonderful romance on me and Jon's first date. The waterfall. Spending the rest of the afternoon into the night in bed. Dinner. It was wonderful.

Days and weeks and months went by, which brought us to this weekend.

Friday Jon was going out with his friends Leif and Brad to the Colorado Cafe for Brad's birthday. I freaking hate the Colorade Cafe. The last time I was there back in March (or April?) I was miserable and I hated it. Jon invited me out, but I wasn't 100% sure on going. I'd be the only girl and I felt like I would be encroaching on guy's night. But Jon told me I was completely welcome, so around 7, I gussied up and headed over to Jon's. We got to the Cafe around 9, and hit the bar. I was told that tonight, I was one of the guys. So this could be really good, or really bad. I already felt kind of awkward, because Leif and Brad are both single and Jon is their wingman and I'm just... there. Leif then ordered 4 Jaegerbombs. I wanted nothing to do with it. But... as "one of the guys" I had to join in Brad's birthday drink. So here we go... It wasn't too terrible. Just not the drink for me. It made too much of a mess and it wasn't very tasty. Then Brad found out he actually knew someone who worked there. So it being his birthday, we got drink tokens! And then the magical shot girl came around. Oh my god. If you ever go to the Colorado Cafe, fucking "Swamp Water" tube shots.. and they have Jello shots... so good. Then I redeemed my token for my (surprise) Long Island Iced Tea. I rode the mechanical bull, and did really awesome at it. So that was my shining moment. And made friends with people (actually while sober, I wasn't friendly drunk... yet). Then I found out (to my awesome surprise...) NO LINE DANCING! It was this cover band called "The Nerds" and they were really funny and great. The did "Pokerface" and "Sexyback" and they did some Bon Jovi and stuff. It was pretty good. Soon, it was midnight, and I gave Jon his present, a Transformer (inside joke between us), and we danced a little bit. But then Brad got ridiculously sick, and Jon and Leif had to go tend to him in the bathroom, just kinda leaving me there holding Leif's beer, sitting on the side of the dance floor where some random guy kept trying to pick me up. We left soon after that, and had to stop a couple of times so Brad could vomit. I had a surprisingly good time, and we now know that if we're going to the Colorado Cafe, we're going on a Friday.

I woke up yesterday to (surprisingly) no hangover! But Brad was still in rough shape. I stayed at Jon's while he went to karate, and I hung around with the hangover king. Jon got back around 12:30 and we headed for the beach at 1! We hit horrible gnarly traffic on the Parkway (due to a guy broken down in the area with no shoulder... awesome) so it took 3 hours to get there. Ughhh. But when we got there we had a drink, awesome pizza, fries, corn on the cob, and just fucking awesome shore food. And played games (Jon got the 10,000 point red coin in one of those coin machines) and I got shiny new jewelry for my piercing. :D We headed home around 9, and saw fireworks from the highway! Then stopped at my house so I could grab pajamas and shoes that didn't kill my feet and went to his house and flopped into bed. It was a completely wonderful day.

Today I plan to veg out and watch some True Blood tonight. And I'm watching the 1990 classic Dick Tracy on SyFy. I haven't seen this since I was at least 5 or 6. Brilliant.

So it's not even 10am. I'm awake. I'm fuckin tired as hell.

Last night Sam and his brother came over around 9:15, and we ran to Bottle King so I could stock up on some kind of alcohol. We then got some Taco Bell and came back to my house. Deb was gonna come over but plans fell through. Jon got here around 11:30. He was really tired, and I felt bad. He just looked exhausted. I told him he should go to bed, but he didn't want to. He then started bugging me by tickling me. I wasn't in the mood to be tickled. I hate being tickled. Especially when I'm in kind of a meh mood. The end result was me kicking the ottoman and it knocking over the hookah, spilling all of the water. I got pissed @ Jon because, hey, it's his fault. He decided to tickle me. So we got into a fight. Awesome. Then we sat there in silence for 15 minutes. Then we were okay (I guess?) and watched some TV. We then drank a little and went to bed. Yep. That's what my night turned into.


I woke up a little before 9 to Jon making noise. If he's awake, everyone in the room has to be, apparently. Then the tickles are happening. Then he went to throw his phone into my bed canopy, it slid out, and hit me in my shin. Oh, today is great already. Jon has to go to karate @ 11 til 12, then he realized it's his grandmother's birthday. So he's off to grandma's with his mom and sisters. He invited me, and this may sound incredibly bitchy.. but no thanks. The last place on my list I'd like to be is sitting @ his grandparent's with his mother and sisters.


So today is probably going to be the same as yesterday. Sitting and waiting for nothing to happen.